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The Black Kitten June 4, 2009

Posted by amrut in Writing.
2 comments

THE BLACK KITTEN

– Gatsby, Smoke, Chops and the Poetess

The Gatsby proposed the story
The Holy Smoke gave it wind
The Carry Chops gave it colour
The Poetess gave it a sine
Together, they spoke in rhyme

Hear, hear :

Bert and Ron, in the middle of the road,
Sat down to rest their weary soles;
Ere Bert was asleep, Ron gave a holler:
“How long afore you think, that jeep’ll run us over?”
“10 meters!”, reported the engineer bright,
Ron, meanwhile, is all ready for flight.
As Fate would have, brakes couldn’t avoid the hittin,
But them it didn’t; it hit a luckless black kitten!

Kitten being dead, the Soul prepared to leave,
All ready to rise, and Heavens to receive.
The pull but came, from below, so it fell
“Black Black Kitten Soul! You belong in Hell!”
“Apartheid! My Lord! So truly unfair!”
“Just one way out…that if you dare
To scratch a Human and set Soul free.”
Failure alas! For Metaphysical Misery!
No longer substance, the Soul couldn’t touch;
Leave alone scratch, or for that matter clutch!

Smart Soul then, had an idea bright,
Thought no more, but entered right
Into the body of Bert not Ron,
Cause Bert had more muscle and brawn.
Though ready to scratch, the Soul but fails,
For Alas! Bert had not the long-sharp-NAILS!

“No matter! no matter! we’ll sit and wait,
For nails to grow, for thats our Fate.”
And they sat 3 years, like roadside beggars;
Incidentally, the driver was Arnold Schwarzenegger.

As the three years drew to an end,
The Soul had nails no man could defend.
All ready to scratch and liberate itself,
But lo! a Spaceship, and out came an elf;
Elf-like Aliens rather, with multiple heads,
Armed with nail cutters and so they said:
“We come to rid the world of the muck
Who grow their nails and never cut!”

“Start with the First Man! Let there be drama!”
And they flew to inspect Barrack Obama.
The Oval Office, they found him in,
All wan and pale, with fingers thin,
And nails so long, bade the aliens utter:
“Give us all your Nail Cutters!”

Obama grabbed a cutter and ran,
To simultaneously cut, was his plan.
But footnails he couldn’t, while he was running,
A fierce chase then followed, with constant gunning.
A cave he ran into, breathless with fear
But aliens at the door, the end is now near.

But to his surprise, Kitten Soul appeared:
“I started, I’ll end; Dont be afeard!”
With a puppy face, “MEOW!” he’d spoken,
And lo! The Aliens were all Nail-broken!

Survey results March 27, 2009

Posted by amrut in Uncategorized.
1 comment so far

Total responses = 509

Here is the location spread –>

location-bias

Here is the results growth –>

total

Both are much less spectacular than I had hoped for. I have to assume that a lot of people just didnt fill the survey although they got the information / they didnt forward. Also, there is a bias in the information only 0.2% of respondents said they don\’t read books, which I find highly suspect to be representative of the truth.

A HUGE thanks to all those people who filled the survey and those who forwarded it. Thanks.

The Great Chennai Book reading survey March 19, 2009

Posted by amrut in Book reading survey.
7 comments

Announcing The Great Chennai Book reading survey and The Great Chennai viral networking challenge.

The survey is meant to address one question – Is Chennai a ‘well-read’ city or not. The idea is that while everybody seems to think that Chennai is a ‘well-read’ city, i.e. people in Chennai read books a lot, there is no hard evidence. And one cant act on a thought. If we can prove the statement either way, then we can present it to the people who matter and say, look Chennai doesnt read as much as you think so lets do something about this OR wow, Chennai reads a lot, lets be proud of it.

While we were discussing this survey in its initial phases, we thought we will pay a market research organization to do this for us. But then we thought, lets viral-market it. And while doing so, lets test the mathematics behind viral marketing. Essentially, Chennai is a small city and most people are separated by a max of 3 degrees of separation* (this is my guess), so that would mean that the exponential growth of viral marketing will plateau. Simply put, the number of respondents over time should like like this — link here.

If we are able to get a good curve, then it might be possible to estimate an average degree of separation in Chennai. (Although, I wont promise it.)

The link to the survey is here — http://survey.we-bloggers.com/index.php?sid=62781&lang=en (Survey average fill time = 3 mins.)

The live result of the viral networking curve (updated hourly) is displayed at the end of the survey. There is also a link to an internet usage survey that you might want to answer.


Please please answer the survey if you are in Chennai. Please inform your friends about it. Please blog about it. Please put it in your status / facebook / orkut message. Please be part of the survey and the challenge. I’ve sent out an email forward, if you want a copy, email me at booksurvey[at]gmail[dot]com.


* — Degree of Separation — If I know Amrit and Amrit knows Raghav and Raghav knows Ashwin. Then Ashwin is 3 degrees of separation away from me. It is theorized that everybody in the world is separated by a maximum of six degrees of separation. BUT, in a closed world (like Chennai), this will maybe smaller. For instance, in a village of 200 people, eveybody will know eveybody!

** — Survey owners — Amrutash Misra (alumnus IIT Madras, PS Senior school) and Suchitra Sastri (alumnus Wharton b-school, PS Senior school). Webs space provided by — Amrit Vatsa (alumnus IIT Madras). Bezier curve representing results — Arun (slinky) (IIT Madras). Special thanks to all the people who have argued over Chennai book reading habits over cups of filter coffee. And extreme gratitude to all our friends and wellwishers for helping out.

Pi February 28, 2009

Posted by amrut in Writing.
14 comments

New story up. Click here.

As usual, comment here, no there.

20000 feet February 22, 2009

Posted by amrut in General.
4 comments

Blog counter crossed 20000 hits yesterday. I tried to estimate how much of that is my own doing, and even at 50%, thats still 10000 hits. So, you see, I have a reason to smile.

While I was still at 20000 feet, I did a complete revamp of the cosmetics. I un-private-ised some of the earlier entries. I re-did the tagging to actually make some sense. And I think it looks better now.

From now on, lesser articles, and hopefully better articles — to deliver more worth per unit time that you spend on my blog. Also better editing –  my spellings and grammar have definitely gotten better and so has my patience to edit.

20000. Yaay.

Slumdog Millionaire review February 15, 2009

Posted by amrut in Commentary.
17 comments

Before watching the movie, I was undecided on whether to pre-like the movie or not. Directed by the director of Trainspotting and scripted by the scriptwriter of The Full Monty are definite pluses. Both were clever British movies. But many friends (interestingly mostly from Bombay) didnt like it. I was unsure.

I liked it a lot. A very good movie, worth seeing more than once. Its a feel good movie. And I felt good.

If you didnt like it, here are a few reasons why you should like it. See if they make any sense to you.

10. Anil Kapoor.
Anil Kapoor is an actor, not a tv commercial guy, not a I-am-50-but-look-I-can-play-a-college-going-kid-romancing-a-18-year old. He is not a party-brawl-er or a to-be-politician. He doesnt even have a blog. So its refreshing to see the original Mr. India execute a good act.

9. The music. Its brilliant. I hope the Academy agrees.

8. The self-replicating top view of  Dharavi. In general, the camera angles.

7. The happy kids. Especially in the opening sequence.

6. The survival instint.
In many ways this movie reminded me of City of Gods. I think that if you didnt like Slumdog, then its probably because you are too associated with Mumbai to notice the brilliance of the movie. I seriously recommend that you watch City of Gods and then rewatch Slumdog. (City of Gods is about violence in Rio. Its about two brothers, one becomes a photographer and the other a drug dealer. Its about the survival instinct. But of course, the feel of the movie is totally different. What is probably same is the very raw treatment of the things we like to ignore.)

5. The blinding of beggar kids. The resealing of mineral water bottles with quickfix.

4. Latika’s clothes. The salwars and the jeans. The yellow scarf.

3. The ending sequence. The dance at the VT station.

2. Mumbai rising as the movie progresses. Buildings getting taller. From incredibly dirty slum to “centre of the world”.

1. Latika’s chin.

latika

Update::

1. Slumdog won 8 oscars, including best original score, best song, best screenplay and my favourite — best cinematography.

2. The review of slumdog issues that you shouldnt miss — click here.

Dilip February 6, 2009

Posted by amrut in College.
3 comments

Dilip Veeraraghavan passed away yesterday. He was suffering from cancer.

He was one of the best, if not the best, teachers whom I’ve had an opportunity to learn from. He taught me Indian National Movement (course name). In class he was very objective and fair in his treatment of the course material and his treatment of the class. He could bring events into perspective like no one else could. I still remember him talking about bonds issued in London for the financing of the Indian Railways in the very beginning and the booming British steel industry’s connection with the Indian railways. Why was the Indian Railways built? Sure it was built to reach into raw material sources and new markets. But firstly, because building it was profitable for shareholders. Why did Gandhi have a firm grip on India? Because he went from village to village and taught them healthy sanitation practices. (I might have told you someday that Gandhi’s greatest contribution to India was that he taught Indian villages to shit properly. That was never from me, it was from Dilip.) My understanding of India, its freedom struggle and indeed my own patriotism is rooted in the understanding that I gained from that course. The power of his teaching was in his thought — clear and logical. And that in a subject which had earlier been taught to me by propaganda.

More than that he was a good friend. His ability to understand the unsaid was uncanny. He could sense moods. He could read meanings into breathing pauses inbetween words in a sentence. He was a social networking guru. Almost every thinking IIT Madras student in the last 15 odd years have been his friend. He listened. He understood. He cared. He adviced just enough. He joked. He laughed. When I recollect the few people who have influenced me the most by sheer strength of their character, Dilip will be on top.

He could see more than what most people could. Its an irony that he was blind. He will be remembered in the hearts and though-processes of the many who were inspired by him. We love you Dilip.

Adiga, you bitch October 22, 2008

Posted by amrut in Commentary.
12 comments

Arvind Adiga has won the 2008 man booker prize for his book, the White Tiger.

Adiga has put into writing what everyone already knew but didn’t want to acknowledge – that the Indian poor exist, that they have a mind of their own and that they are in pain because of their poverty.

The book is anachronistic. It has been written at a time when most Indians are uncomfortable talking about their poor. They want to talk about the shining malls of Gurgaon and the tall buildings of South Bombay. They will tell you about their new mobile phones and their imported alcohol parties but they wont tell you about their overworked drivers and underpaid house hold helps. In years to come, when Indians are more comfortable talking about these unsettling things, this book will be remembered, bought, read and appreciated.

Even before Adiga came along, I worried about how much my driver has slept and whether I was sweet enough to my cook to not spit on my food. I cared enough for them to give them an extra hundred or two and worry about their children’s education. I hope, sincerely for this country, that this book makes a lot of people worry about their drivers and cooks. Indiahas a lot of poor people and I believe that this poverty is not going to go away by NGO-work and by donating money to the poor. The poverty will go away when each of us talk to and help the poor people in our everyday lives. Although I don’t think that philanthropy was the point Adiga was making. He, instead, says that socio-economic equality or at least a semblance of it, is in our self interest.

One reason why I am glad that Adiga won the booker is the same reason that I was upset that Arundhati Roy won the Booker and Jhumpa Lahiri won the Pulitzer. Sure they had great grammar and all that, but apart from that why should those books be remembered? What was the big deal in their books? Give me free time like they’ve had and good education and I can write those books. And writing about India was the in-thing back when these authors won. It was more about being at the right place at the right time. (Er, little harsh criticism perhaps. They did win and I cant even write a 2-pg story properly.)

Adiga’s book, on the other hand, is something out of the ordinary. If you’ve been driven by chauffeurs, you’ll realize what an accurate picture Adiga has painted. If you’d bothered to look, you might have seen those trashy porn story books in tea shops too. And if you had been friends with your drivers, they might have told you of when the back seat was being wet by forbidden juices, if you know what I mean. If I had all of Adiga’s experiences, and I could write such a book, I’d probably chicken out and sit in an air-conditioned office doing something else. But not Adiga. The man has gone out their, taken a picture of the dark side of India, put it in words and thrown it in your face.

And see how our literary critics have reacted to it – by claiming that the book is a ‘fake’. Ha! What a joke the Indian literary circle is. In India, my friend, Shobaaa De sells more than Arvind Adiga. That shows how much we avoid talking about the dirty secrets of our existence. But the Indian poor exist. And to some extent, we exist because of them. Because, at the end of the day, you do realize that the Indian economic boom is because we have cheap labour, don’t you? And we have cheap labour because there is excess supply, i.e., we prosper because there are so many poor people in India who don’t prosper and keep the rates low.

My take on this book is that this is a book that calls for social change. This is a book that you MUST read and this is a book you must gift to your parents and to your kids and to everyone you know. I’ve already gifted my copy to my parents.

That’s just about the content part of the book. What is even nicer about Adiga winning the booker is that it is not written in Queen’s English. It is not prim and proper. It is not straight out of Wren and Martin. It is rough and simple. And it is exactly the language the protagonist in the book might have used. It is a role play and it is perfectly so. It wouldn’t have been hard for Adiga to put the whole book in third person and introduce Indian niceties and use Queen’s English and write the same book in a different way. But he resisted that temptation to play to what the audience is used to and what the audience will happily lap up and shower with eloquent praise. Isn’t Midnight’s children written like that? And that is the best part about Adiga winning. It will encourage Indian authors to stop writing like what the perceived audience likes and start writing like how they want to write.

And that brings me back to the top. Adiga, you bitch. You won and you won writing something that I am sure you enjoyed writing. And I bet you didn’t worry about the audience too much. And yet you won! How lucky are you! (At the same time, thank you for your book and how nice of the booker jury to select your book.)

New story up: A matter of … August 13, 2008

Posted by amrut in Writing.
2 comments

I spent good hours last month writing two new stories. One of them is still incomplete and I hope to complete it this week, but the other one is up and ready! Uploaded here (click here) – A matter of minor importance. Comment here, or privately.

(Thanks to Dr K for grammar edits. And no, it isnt based on Sam bahadur stories. Although, I must add that I was tempted to change it to ’some Nepali watchman’ on Sarang’s suggestion.)

(P.S. — Sarang, I agree with you, what ends at the India Gate should start at the leaning tower. As you put it, it has to be a monumental thing.)

Privatization drive July 11, 2008

Posted by amrut in College, General.
10 comments

(… or Plan B)

Over the last year or so, whether you liked it or not, I’ve presented you with a slice of my life. I’ve made you a part of my existence. I’ve confided in you. I made little stories that I hid myself in and narrated them to you. Well, I decided to stop doing that. Also, I made a host of earlier entries ‘private’, except the ones that I really liked. I’ve been blogging anonymously for a month or so, and I like that better. I’ll still try to post my writing and some tech stuff as and when I can. But my personal opinions, my feelings, all of that, shall now be posted elsewhere.

To all those who read everything I wrote, thank you. To those who commented on the blog and in my mailbox, it meant a lot. To those who felt I made a difference to their day and told me so in those words, thank you again. It was purely by accident.

Why am I doing this? 1) I was posting personal stuff for a reason — to communicate with some people I was not able to communicate to normally. To keep them updated and to keep a conversation going with them. I figured that sometimes they knew what I was thinking and doing but I didnt know what they were thinking or doing. Its rather one way, this blogging business, unlike a conversation. I dont really mind, but its boring to tell people what I am upto all the time without getting a feedback from them on what they are upto.  2) If I post anonymously, I dont have to sweeten my words. I can call a spade a spade; dogs at a stinking garbage bin outside the Mech dept at IIT Madras an academic power hungry hyena pack who deserve to be Shunned by Elsevier; and a Nokia phone a parallelopiped box because thats what they are. I can freely tell you that some people who claim they are Passionate about Tech are actually a bunch of opportunistic liars and egoistic bastards with no moral or ethical standards. I can freely tell you how not to be a Good Friend. … Its been a long time since I’ve enjoyed that freedom. 3) For the simple reason that I need a change. Spain finally won, Federer finally lost, the Left finally left, I finally moved out of Tapti. Its that cliched oxymoron at work — these times, they are constantly changing.
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Oh, as an ending note — I didnt cry when I left. I dont remember what I ate on the last day. And my closest friends are still where they were always — on my gtalk list, on my address book and one marriage away from a reunion. So, really, really, I dont see what the leaving IIT senti is about. So the next person who asks me if I am sad for leaving IIT will get promptly laughed at. I mean, come on, you knew me this long, and you thought I’d be the type to feel senti? [I am a little senti about leaving Madras though, and that too, for a very specific feeling that I used to wake up to when in Madras. And its so personal that only my closest friend(s) would know it, so I wouldnt be senti about it.] [Oh, I did meet the Goat on the second last day in a manner that can be possible only by divine intervention, and we smoked the holy smoke and recalled everyone we knew and thanked God for mythical places near Shimla where Israeli taxi drivers share their #. We amused over the fact that in all my IIT life, one of my greatest regret is to be part of a Shaastra core team that didn't win How Things Work. But then I was also part of one that won. Five years to know how things work? Probably more? Considering how little I know yet, much more. Apt ending?]
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